Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Time to say goodbye to Denmark

I have truly enjoyed my time here in Denmark and am sad to say goodbye. I have heard from fellow expats it takes until year 3 when you finally feel settled -  and I really agree with that - we are halfway way into year 3 and I think that is why it is far more difficult to say goodbye than I ever thought it would be.

Alas, we must go. So I thought I would close with a few thoughts. But rather than getting too sappy I thought instead I would make a list:

THINGS IN DENMARK THAT USED TO MAKE ME TURN MY HEAD IN BEWILDERMENT (OR HORROR!), WHICH I NOW HARDLY NOTICE (and might even miss):
  • Texting while biking. Now that takes talent, but it doesn't end there. Texting while drinking a beer while biking. And one time, I even saw texting while biking while drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette. Awesomely talented individual. We live at a very busy roundabout and get to see a lot.
  • Horses being walked down our street - all over our neighborhood really. There is not only a car lane and a bike lane, but also a horse lane on the street I rode my bike up and down twice daily for 2 years to get Raeagn to/from school.  And - going back to the first point - I actually saw someone texting and smoking a cigarette while riding their horse down the street. Mouth agape, I couldn't stop staring - it was embarrassing. Poor horse.
  • The ding of the bicycle bell. I now realize this isn't an aggressive tactic to get you to move out of a rude person's way, but rather an important tool that communicates 'Hey, I'm here, please don't swerve left into my space'  (Ron may disagree with my assessment here...he did more city biking than I, and encountered more "professional/speed" bikers)
  • Public drinking being acceptable everywhere. No doubt Denmark has been a good fit for Ron and I - you can buy a beer at the local beer stand and walk around with it, take it on the train, drink it anywhere. We will miss that for sure. But given the relaxed rules (and the drinking age is 18), rarely do you see people out of control or it being problematic. If you ask the Swedes though (who don't have the same rules), the Danes are drunks :-). At our roundabout every day when I go get Raegan from school (at 2:15) there are a few of the same old men drinking their beers on the benches in front of the convenience store before heading home.
  • Babies left outdoors unattended to sleep in their prams while parents are indoors shopping or having a coffee or eating...anything, just not in the vicinity of the baby. ...I am now enlightened that babies sleep better outside in the fresh air!  (although I accept it for others, pretty sure I could not do it still...)
  • Being told off by strangers when you do something "against the rules". This of course initially greatly angered me- who are you to tell me what to do??  However, I have come to realize it is the way the Danes are raised from the day they were born and it's not personal. The older kids take care of the younger ones and it is the older one's job to make sure that the younger ones follows said rules. And this continues throughout their lives - this self-policing. So, while I still don't particularly like it (I always have a reason for breaking the rules!!) I at least (work at) not letting it bother me too much. I have been told off too many times to recount them here, but if you are curious, examples of rules I have broken that seem to bother the casual passerby are: don't ride your bike on the sidewalk (you must walk it), don't ride your bike the wrong way down the bike lane, don't ride your bike across the street (you must walk it!), kids being too loud, etc, etc. People will stop what they are doing just to tell you that what you are doing is wrong and what you should be doing instead. I suppose it's rather amazing they care so much to take the time to do this?
  • The extremes in the length of daylight. Currently, as we are quickly approaching the longest day of the year, it is fantastic that you look outside at 11pm and there are still faint traces of sunlight outside. And then it's only really dark for about 4 hours because before 4am the sun is starting to come back up. It's amazing, but it can really mess with your head, resulting in getting far less sleep than you really need because you don't realize how late it is. And blackout shades are a must in the summer. The flip side are the depressing, very dark winters. At it's worst, it feels like the sun never rises, particularly on a cloudy day. This leads you to think you should be getting the kids in their PJs and feeding them dinner at 4pm and putting them to bed at 5pm. Unfortunately when they can read the clock this doesn't happen :-)  But you truly do sleep more in the winter (and spend a lot more time in your PJs). The sun sets at 3:45 and rises at 8:30 - that's a lot of darkness and one of the things I found hardest about living in Denmark.
  • Lack of friendliness. I have come to realize it is just cultural differences - Danes are not outwardly emotional people, so they don't mean their actions to strangers as rude. I used to be offended when a passerby would not smile...now I am so used to it, not only do I not even bother to smile, but I am worried how long it will take me to re-train myself to be friendly when I get back to the USA!
  • Excessive ice cream eating. Not just the kids - but people of all ages - very young to very old. And it doesn't matter what the temperature is outside so long as the sun is (or was for a second) out. Also doesn't matter the time of day. I think it may be a meal substitute for some...because being overweight is not really an issue here.
  • Loitering. There is really no other way to describe this to Americans. We always have a purpose, going to or from somewhere. Not here - people plop down on the random sidewalk bench just because they want to enjoy the view - or rest - or eat their aforementioned ice cream - or, I don't really know what. While I accept this one and have come to enjoy "the simple life" here as Ron and I refer to it as, I still don't really understand it - I would rather sit in my backyard or walk the extra 1/2 a mile to the beach, but I think the culture probably has it right that you can take a few minutes to sit down and smell the roses so to speak, wherever you want.
  • So much technology, combined with living the "simple life". You can absolutely never have cash here (so long as your card has a chip and pin) - and always expect to find WiFi.  You can buy a gumball with your ATM card. You can use "mobile pay" from your phone when you are at a yard sale buying your child a single used matchbox car from someone that lives down the street. It's an interesting mix - in some ways there are so many conveniences we are used to in America that are missing here - but in some areas of technology Danes are more advanced.
  • SO many bikes!  Bikes everywhere - a completely normal and acceptable form of transportation for everyone. It is amazing to see women in pencil skirts and 4 inch heels on their way to work looking very stylish on their bikes - how do they do it?? I will definitely miss riding my bike and public transportation.  We haven't had a car the entire time we have lived here - Ron and I have each ridden our bikes miles and miles each day to get where we needed to go. I will miss that built in exercise and living in a culture that supports that. Selling my cargo bike was sad- I had a friend tell me that it was such an integral part of my experience here that I should take it with me - I was tempted but just don't think it belongs in America! I would definitely be the weird lady with the huge bike no one has seen before - so I had to leave it in Denmark where it belongs. I will miss the clean, reliable trains here and the ability to bike wherever you want.  The few times I have had a car though I must say the bike riders are such a nuisance!! ;-) They definitely complicate driving with their constant right of way...
  • Paying $6 for a small black coffee. There is clearly nothing about this that I will miss, just came to terms with it at some point so that I could get a coffee out every now and then guilt-free while I have lived here. I now think Starbucks is super cheap..
  • The price of food out. $20 for cheeseburger and fries? what the heck? I'm sure the kids won't touch theirs but let's do this anyways...:-)   The caveat to this is that the Danes know how ridiculously expensive their food is, and how the price is particularly wasted on kids, so they offer "picnic" areas almost everywhere - i.e. when you go the Aquarium or the zoo here - you can pack a lunch instead of paying $20 for your child to not eat their lunch at their cafe.  It's acceptable to bring your own food pretty much everywhere. 
  • Burning weeds. This is hardly worth mentioning - I mean, it's weeds - but I find it so incredibly unusual that the alternative to pesticides is to have a guy carry around a propane tank and a torch and burn weeds in the sidewalk cracks (because they are everywhere with the climate). It is so stinky and not to mention a bit of a hazard? I suppose I think this way because I come from a drought ridden city (not anymore!) where you fear you will start a fire accidentally if you are simply carrying around a set of matches.
  • Nude dipping in the ocean year round.  I can't believe I almost left this one off the list! I still stare in disbelief when I see this - which is every time I run down the coast - year round - rain or shine and despite the wind. The theory behind this is that it is supposed to be invigorating to do this after exercise. The nude part I am not certain I know the reason behind - maybe it's so that you don't have to bring a swimsuit with you during your exercise - or have wet underwear after you get out. Needless to say I did not try this.
  • Finally, the horrible process you must go through to go swimming - in any pool in Denmark. You cannot get in the pool unless you strip naked and take a shower - washing particular areas shown on pictures hanging all over the walls, including your hair - then get into your swimsuit. You cannot get around this because of the self policing nature of the culture I mentioned above - someone will call you out for skipping the process. It completely turned me off of swimming here - that and the fact that the pools are freezing and I'm a wimp!!
And with this last post I will close out my blog. Goodbye Denmark! I will miss you. More seriously though, I absolutely got far more out of my experience here than the observations posted here - words can't really describe what I will take away as I leave!

I think I can speak for the family when I say we are all grateful for all the fun and enlightening experiences, for all the amazing travel throughout Europe, and of course for the great friends we have all made. We will miss it all!!

Squeezing in all we can before we move away

Once we realized we were leaving, we tried to squeeze in as much fun as possible!

Easter festivities



In front of the duck ponds in Osterbro
Weekend trip to Helsingor, Denmark (30 min north of us on the coast) - we took Baxter with us - can't say he really enjoys the train! Helsingor is such a quaint town - the apartment we rented was super unique - the building was built in the 1500s. There are actually many buildings that date back to then in the city center - you can see below in some photos where the walls are clearly not square.



The is the backyard of the apartment we stayed in. 

The back view of our apartment

Just chillin



near the harbor near the ferry terminal (to sweden) - and you can see Kronborg castle in the background in the distance


Weekend trip to the north coast in a town called Dronningmølle (translates to Queen's mill) and stayed in a castle. It was a quick walk through a nice path to the beach - too bad the weather didn't really cooperate with us!






Days out in Copenhagen

An afternoon at the market near Norreport station - Torvehallerne - there's a nice new play area next door


Of course, another visit to the Lego store

Ron's last day of work. What you don't see is that the cake he is cutting has a photo of Baxter on it!

Last few horse riding lessons for Raegan - this is at her spring show






Bakken Amusement Park





I was able to join Raegan on her 2 fields trips this spring - this one is to one of the three only mosques in Denmark - it was an interesting visit!


Of course a big sleepover celebration for Raegan's 7th birthday!







A visit to Frederiksborg Castle - the kids got to drive the boat around the castle lake








Here is some random scenery I will miss...
The coastline I get to run along - 1.5 miles  from our house. Such beautiful clear water - too bad it's so cold!!
The geese and their babies around Gentofte lake

The frequent bursts of rain make for lush landscape that is really beautiful. The trees are so tall!